Q&A: Do siblings have to be part of your wedding party?
I read this question posted in one of the wedding forums I am part of and thought I should post it here to get your opinion as well….
Q: Do siblings have to be part of your wedding party?
My answer: I don’t believe there’s a precise wedding etiquette for having your or your husband to-be’s siblings part of your wedding party. However, it is a general practice. I’ve got 1 older brother and 1 younger sister and we are now all married. When my brother got married, both my sister and I were bridesmaids. When I got married, both my siblings are part of the wedding party as well. When our youngest sister got married, I was the Matron of Honor and my brother’s only daughter was a flower girl.
I think it all depends on the kind of relationship you have with your siblings whether you’re close to each other or not. In my case, I was close to my siblings and it was sort of a practice being Asian and all.
In some cultures, wedding-related customs are much stricter too. When my best friend in university got married. She had to sit me down and explain to me that it is custom in their family (she’s pure Chinese) to get all her and her groom’s siblings (and she has like 3 sisters and a brother not even counting her fiance’s siblings!) to get their siblings for the wedding party so she couldn’t get me as a bridesmaid even if she wanted to.
In western culture, it’s not as ’strict’ I think. My Kiwi co-worker’s sister got married and she and her twin didn’t feature in the bridal party. So to each his or her own really.
What about you? What do you think?
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POSTED IN: The Wedding Party
3 opinions for Q&A: Do siblings have to be part of your wedding party?
nicola monaghan
Oct 7, 2007 at 4:32 pm
i totally fully agree, i am getting married soon i have asked my 3 very closest friends (since childhood) to be my bridesmaid. my parents are insulted and my sister is hurt i did not ask her. she is much younger than me and we do not particularly get on whereas i am very close to my friends and they know me so well. i cannot believe the outcry that has occured from this i am so insulted!! that someone would expect to be bridesmaid! and that parents would try and make you feel guilty about it. we are not living in the 1970s when this was the done thing i can completely understand if your sister is your best friend by all means have her if not it is your day and everyone should butt out!!!
vicky
Mar 9, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I totally agree!! Parents should be willing to give their opinion, and then get out. We should not feel guilty for not doing what they suggest or for doing things a little differently than tradition. Unfortunately, I think most parents are this way, so you’re not alone. :(
Jill
Sep 3, 2008 at 9:48 am
Thanks for the advise! My fiance’s parents are upset that we don’t want his younger sister as a bridesmaid. She will be 20 when we get married, I will be 25 and all of my best friends who are bridesmaids will be 24-26. His sister couldn’t be included in the bachlorette party as she won’t be of USA legal drinking age. I wouldn’t hold the rest of us back for a night out on the town for one person, especially considering she is not close with me at all. We only see each other on holidays. We would like her to be an usher but his parents think that is an insult because it is a traditional men’s role and said “she shouldn’t be included at all if she is only good enough to be an usher.” I have been to multiple weddings this year, all which had female ushers. Siblings aren’t necessarily groomsmen or bridesmaids anymore either. Parents just need to realize that times have changed and it’s not as traditional as what it was they got married.
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